Learning
How To Say No
Cure
yourself of the "disease to please"
Simply put -
you should learn how to say no. Why? Because in the end, if you
don't, you will simply be hurting yourself. Here are some signs you
aren't saying "no" enough:1. You find people taking advantage your kindness
2. You find yourself overscheduled and overstressed
3. You never have enough time for yourself
4. You're taking on responsibilities which you know aren't yours
5. You often feel guilty if you do ever say no.
Why Say No?
Because it's good for you!
Saying no is NOT selfish. It may be the most beneficial thing you can do for the people around you. When you say no, you'll be able to spend quality time with more important things you've already said yes to.
Saying yes might actually be bad.
Just because you say "yes" doesn't mean you will always please the person you say "yes" to. If you're too busy and overstressed, you'll probably won't be able to do the job as well. You might also become tired, crabby or sick - this is not going to benefit you or anyone else.
Let other people shine.
Saying no gives others the chance to let themselves shine. Let them do what they're supposed to do - or want to do. Make them feel good about themselves - make them feeling useful. You can always let them do things the way they want it to be done.
Different Ways to Say No
"I don't like splitting my attention among projects."
Let her know you would want to do a good job, but you can't if your focus is too divided on too many projects. You'll be more effective if you focus on one thing at a time.
"I'm sorry, but I have a prior commitment."
It doesn't matter what the commitment is - even if it's simply time to yourself or with friends and family. You don't have to justify the fact that you're simply not available.
"I know you will do a wonderful job yourself."
Sometimes, people will ask for help because they doubt their own abilities - they don't think they can do it. You should give the confidence they need to succeed. In the long run, you're probably doing them a favour because they will prepared.
"I'm afraid I will have to decline - rather than do a mediocre job."
When you know you won't be able to deliver a high quality product, the reason doesn't matter - if you don't have enoguh time or if you have the wrong skills, this is enough for turning the request down unless it is your obligation to fulfill it.
"Now right now, but I can do it later."
If you really want to help but don't have the time at the moment, you can offer to help at a later date. If they can't wait for you, they'll probably find someone else.
"This really isn't my strong suit."
It's okay to admit your limitations. Knowing what you can and can't handle is a skill.
"I'm not really comfortable with that - sorry."
It's okay if you're uncomfortable with a situation. The people involved, the type of work, moral or ethical issues may come up. This is a respectful way to avoid a sticky situation.
TipsBe polite and respectful. But also be firm in saying no. You only build false hopes when you answer with a wishy-washy response.
You have a right to say no. Others will take advantage of your kindness and may take you from granted. They may even lose their respect for you if you don't learn how to say no.
When a boss tells you to address a new urgent task you should 1) remind her that you are working on other things which she has already identified as top priorities and 2) ask her where this new task lies on the list of priorities.
Images: hmk, spine
References: Online Organizing
Post Comments